asian-invasion

I know I owe my three or so readers the report on Otakon Sunday, even though the convention was over a month ago.  I swear I’m not blowing my blog off.  I really would like to keep up with it much more than I do.  I just have issues.

One problem is a lack of motivation to finish because Sunday, August 10 is a long story about a day which went from being good (in spite of me and my wife having colds) to stretching well into Monday morning with the both of us saying, “OMGWTFBBQ???”  I’m not being lazy about recounting the details and it isn’t as if I could forget anything that happened on our plodding journey home from Baltimore.  Simply put, in my mind I see this as a daunting task since I am given to making sure such details are all included (save for small things like smells and sounds).

It goes toward a feeling of being overwhelmed by a task, as small or trivial as it may seem to the rest of the world.  To me it feels Herculean and I don’t know how I’m going to get it done.  In spite of the guilt and self-imposed pressure I feel from having left yet another project incomplete, those things don’t offer the drive I require to finish.  Unfortunately, this is often misdiagnosed by the public as laziness and I’m sure the moderators of today.com don’t have time to read any of this for understanding of why I haven’t posted here more often.

The Otakon finale is also being delayed for a reason I can never again attempt classroom studies in college.  I’ve tried twice, each attempt separated by about ten years, to complete two years of full-time academic schedules.  The result in the end is always the same.  In spite of having an IQ hovering around 135 and a talent for analysis and reason, my grades fall below the average standard for receiving Federal financial aid.  Why?

Lectures.  I can’t function in a quiet atmosphere with no mutual interaction.  I perform much better in discussions and hands-on projects because I am engaged in activity.  Lectures don’t offer any of that.  If any two-way communication is taken out of the equation, I won’t last ten minutes before my mind either wanders or races elsewhere while I make repeated failed attempts to take notes.  Before I realize I’ve zoned out again and snap out of it, minutes have passed and I’ve missed plenty.  Recording lectures and listening back later doesn’t help at all because quiet will kill my efforts and I’m too easily distracted for unrelated sounds in the same room.

Sure, maybe I could take the fated aforementioned entry in pieces and eventually finish, but about the same amount of time will have passed without a single entry.  I do try seriously to be a better blogger but certain characteristics of Aspergers make it more difficult than it should be.  I am in hopes you all will bear with me so I don’t lose the few readers I may have.

Oh, and I see that text field where I’m supposed to place tags.  That involves making a list, which is something else I can never seem to do effectively.  That subject for another time…

Trackback URI | Comments RSS